


I Miss You

by LaceKyoko1138



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 14:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18500869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaceKyoko1138/pseuds/LaceKyoko1138
Summary: Leo left Sakura all alone, and she copes with a walk on their favorite beach.





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends. I’m sure you’re all wondering where the next update for _The Koto Player_ is, but right now I cannot find it in my heart to work on it. Instead, I find myself feverishly working on this piece… I lost a friend on April 12. To be frank, he was more than a friend to me, someone so incredibly special, and knowing he is gone from this world hasn’t been easy to deal with. I’m...barely coping. My mind keeps going through so many memories, so many conversations… It really is all over, isn’t it?
> 
> What better way to express my grief than with some angst with the OTP? This story is done in a similar style to my other story _A Vacation for Two Hours._ This one is also directly related to it. The only major difference is I’m taking key lyrics from the song this is based on rather than using the full song. If you’d like to listen to the full song, please click [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05T_icnBcLg).
> 
> 会いたい (aitai) translates to "I miss you" or "I want to see you." 
> 
> Thank you for your constant support of my other works. Please feel free to comment here. My art twitter is @heyitslaceyk if you’d like to give that a follow too. I really do enjoy seeing what my friends and fans have to say. Thanks again. May we see each other in another story.

会いたい

_I Miss You_

It wasn’t meant to be like this. It wasn’t meant to end like this. It was all too sudden. They were happy together. Weren’t they? Sakura could have sworn they were. Leo had taught her so many things. He taught her his native tongue, or at least key words, funny phrases to make her laugh as they had pillow talk late into a moonlit night.

。。。私はあなたと恋を覚えた。。。

_...and then I learned to love you…_

They had gone to college together, graduated together. Their paths may have been different, but they vowed to always be together, no matter what. Sakura had only ever loved Leo. He was a dark knight that swept her away in ideals of castles and forests, true love, and yet…

卒業しても私を子供扱いしたよね。「遠くへ行くなよ」と。半分笑って半分真顔で抱き寄せた。

_Even though we graduated, you still treated me like a child. You said, “Don’t go too far away.” With half a smile, half a frown, you hugged me._

The winter had been hard. Leo had put in overtime despite the holidays and frigid temps. He was so dedicated, but Sakura felt like there was something more. Like he was trying to outdo himself. Trying to prove to himself that it would all be worth it. She didn’t think it would kill him though.

低い雲を広げた冬の夜あなた夢のように死んでしまったの。

_On a winter night when the low clouds unfolded, like a dream, you died._

They weren’t married, but Leo always made that his intention. “One day,” he’d said, “when the time is right and there are no judgments to be had.” Sakura never really understood that. Their families loved them. They supported them. There were issues at first, but she thought they had managed to get through it. Three years of dating… Wasn’t that enough?

But it was never enough for Leo. Nothing ever seemed to satisfy him. He wanted the best. He wanted perfection. He said he had that in Sakura. Then, damn it, why hadn’t he proposed? Why did he leave her this way?!

She always imagined they’d go to the beach again, like that one time a year ago, their vacation for two hours, and he’d propose to her there on the promenade.

今年も海え行くっていっぱい映画もみるって。約束したじゃない。あなた約束したじゃない。会いたい。。。

_Didn’t you promise we would go to the beach again this year and watch lots of movies? Didn’t you promise that? I miss you…_

Sakura was mad with grief. Sad. Confused. She was a myriad of emotions, none of which she could really name as they all seemed to merge with each other. She found herself one evening taking the train to the beach and walking along the waves, barefoot, in the dress he had given her. She felt disgusted that he was gone. She wanted to vomit all her emotions, but nothing but bile would come up. The ocean did not weep for her, so she could only weep for herself.

波打ち際すすんでは不意にあきらめて戻る海辺をただ一人。怒りたいのか泣きたいのかわからずに歩いてる。

_I try to go to the beach, but suddenly give up and turn back. Just walking alone on the beach, I don’t know whether I want to be mad or want to cry._

Strangers stopped, asked if she needed help. She thought she saw Leo’s kindness in one stranger’s eyes, his intelligence in the arch of an eyebrow… But none of them were him.

声をかける人をつい見つめる彼があなただったら。。。あなただったなら。。。

_I unconsciously stare at those who greet me, thinking if he was you… If only he was you…_

She wanted to throw herself into the sea, so she could be with him again, but what would that do but cause her family more pain and grief? She couldn’t do that to them. She wondered how Leo could do that to her. But isn’t that how suicide works? It wasn’t that he wasn’t thinking of her. Maybe he was thinking too much of her. It was an escape… From… Something. She suddenly wondered just how little of Leo she actually knew. Three years… It felt like a lifetime, but perhaps it truly wasn’t enough.

強がる肩をつかんでバカだなってしかって。優しくキスをして嘘だよって抱きしめていて。会いたい。。。

_As I act tough, I wish you’d grasp my shoulders and scold me for being stupid. I wish you’d gently kiss me and tell me it’s all a lie as you hold me. I miss you._

The memorial that was held had none of his pomp. It was a dreary day, cold, like the deathly clutches he was now in. Sakura was sitting with his family, Camilla and Elise on either side of her, tightly grasping her hands, as if to tether her to this world. His sisters were shaking with tears, but Sakura felt completely numb. This lack of feeling enveloped her when Xander had told her they were planning on cremating him, spreading his ashes to some of his favorite places, using the rest to be turned into glass baubles or something. It still didn’t feel real.

遠くへ行くなと言って。お願い一人にしないで。強く抱きしめて。私のそばで生きていて。

_Tell me no to go too far away. Please don’t leave me alone. Hold me tightly. Live by my side._

She knew she would never love anyone quite like she loved Leo. She doubted she’d love anyone ever again. It would be a long time before she got over this grief, this maddening grief… She only wanted one thing…

会いたい。。。

_I want to see you…_


End file.
